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Republicans told Americans not to vote for the opposition party’s Communists, socialists, and terrorists. On Election Day, Americans did anyway.
In a heartwarming return to the America that loves and embraces the world’s wretched refuse, even voters in Michigan chose on Tuesday to send Congress its very first member of the Muslim Brotherhood. Senator-elect Abdul El-Sayed (D-MI) will also be the first Muslim to serve in the U.S. Senate.
Democrats will control both chambers of Congress starting in January. Democrats flipped enough seats to win comfortable margins of control in both the Senate and the House of Representatives.
Pres. Donald Trump and compliant Republicans no longer control all three branches of government. Sorry, Newsfuckers, but from all appearances it seems that Democratic leadership in Congress will remain in place.
Rep. Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) is poised to become America’s first Black speaker, an appropriate milestone in the continuing battle against the Confederacy. And Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) will once again be Senate majority leader.
It was the biggest Republican loss since Watergate. Democrats took governorships and Senate seats in states where it’s not even legal to belong to the Democratic Party.
Trump did not seize the ballot boxes. He did not even claim voter fraud, which he claims in his sleep.
Trump told the New York Times he’s “absolutely willing” to accept the elections.
“I see that Darline lost,” Trump said, referring to the narrow comfortable victory of Democrat Annie Andrews over Sen. Darline Graham (R-SC), Trump’s handpicked candidate.
“Wow, that’s amazing,” Trump said, standing by his decision to back Graham for the nomination but not going so far as vowing to stay in touch and get a coffee or something.
And Trump said he’s anticipating a productive working relationship with the party he said would destroy America with their Islamic Communism and insatiable hunger for the flesh of the cats and the dogs.
“We’ll, you know, look forward to working with them,” Trump said, referring to the people whose plan he says is to destroy America. “We’ll probably work something out.”
Members of Congress to the right of Trump, however, vowed to oppose the will of the voters. No, not Republicans. I’m talking about right-wing Democrats who, you know, look backward to working with Democrats and will probably not work something out.
The only area where right-wing Democrats appear willing to support big-government projects now is their controversial plan to move the goalposts so that they cast a shadow over America’s future.
Ya see, before the elections, right-wing Democrats claimed that Communist terrorist Democrats couldn’t win at all outside a few blocks around Zabar’s on Manhattan’s Upper West Side. But now, right-wing Democrats are saying that they could have racked up bigger margins of victory Tuesday night, if only they hadn’t failed to rack up margins of defeat in the primaries.
So, Semafor reported this morning, bizarrely, that “House Democrats made large enough gains to contain the party’s restive left wing.” I’m sorry, restive who now?
Was it the restive left wing that endorsed former Rep. Mike Rogers (R-MI) for Senate on Sunday? And does the story have even a single item of alleged progressive restiveness that needs containing?
In fact, no.
Also in fact, Semafor saves for the very last sentence the news that it’s actually the party’s right wing that is both restive and prepared to block Democratic victories: “[W]ith the House majority likely padded by redder territory this cycle, Democrats will face fierce internal resistance to progressive policy ideas like Medicare for All.”
First of all, as of Tuesday, it’s not redder territory! If it voted blue, it now is blue! I don’t make the rules!
And, this just in from the TFN My-Decision Desk: Exit polls show that no one, no demographic — not young Greek males who work in tech nor elderly soccer Moms addicted to meth — none of them voted for Democrats in redder territory on Tuesday because the Democrat promised to BLOCK Medicare for All.
That’s not why you elect Communist terrorists!
Amazingly, however, presumptively strategic strategists are still talking as if the right-wing obstructionists are left-wing obstructionists.
Democratic strategist Michael Trujillo told Politico that “Democrats are hoping … that DSA [Democratic Socialists of America] has a certain level of maturity when it comes to how they build a coalition in the House.” Excuse you? Do you not read Semafor’s last sentences?
When Republicans…
…and the media…
…and ostensibly Democratic strategists and politicians…
…all tell America that candidates are raving loonies and America elects them anyway, that’s America rejecting the wisdom of Republicans and the media and ostensibly Democratic strategists and politicians.
Right-wing Democrats didn’t argue that they’d have won more. They argued that progressive candidates couldn’t win in states like Michigan, which had never elected one member of the Muslim Brotherhood.
It doesn’t matter if maybe right-wing Democratic candidates would have fared better. They were wrong that terrorist Commies couldn’t win.
Besides, as Politico helpfully notes, “A handful of progressive Democratic Senate candidates ran only a few points behind their party’s more centrist, consensus-building gubernatorial nominees.”
Sure, right-wing Democrats can argue (because that’s what their rich donors pay them to do) that “a few points” could make the difference next time. So let’s consider those few points!
Right-wing Democrats routinely shit on progressive candidates even after the primaries. Now, maybe that doesn’t cost those progressives a few points, but if voters aren’t listening to right-wing Democrats then, then why should anyone listen them now?
And if right-wing Democrats are costing progressives those few points, then the problem with those few points isn’t the policy or the Muslim Brotherhood candidates, it’s the right-wing Democrats shitting on the policy and the Muslim Brotherhood candidates!
If right-wing Democrats do do a few points better (I said doo-doo) it’s because progressive voters actually practice “Vote Blue No Matter Who.” Because it’s their duty (I said doody).
Either way, right-wing Democrats don’t get to take credit for their voters staying home. They don’t get to benefit from their own rhetoric shaving points off the margins of progressive Democrats.
You don’t get a participation trophy for not participating. You don’t get a prize for giving us Haley Stevens.
Those few points = the margin of right-wing Democratic error, not progressive unelectability. But the big point is Tuesday’s victories show that left-wing policy is not an automatic death knell and can be overcome by the right left-wing candidates in the right reality ecosystem in which the races are raced.
And that’s assuming Medicare for All was a drawback in the first place! El-Sayed ran on it. But so did Christian Brotherhood member Troy Jackson, who won the Maine Senate race.
Two-thirds of the country want Medicare for All. Obstructionist Democrats with their fierce internal resistance aren’t just obstructing left-wing Democrats, they’re obstructing left-wing Republicans and left-wing Independents and the overwhelming consensus of the precious sacred heartland that doesn’t wanna die of preventable heart disease.
Even fucking Trump said he’ll work with Democrats!
Not to mention this year’s study out of the Yale School of Public Health showing that Medicare for All will save a trillion dollars and 114,000 people’s lives every year.
If right-wing Democrats want to argue for a system that will cost us a trillion dollars, they’re gonna have to explain how they’ll pay for it. If they want a system that will kill 114,000 people, they’re gonna have to explain who’s gonna bury them.
Inflicting that toll on America isn’t just a radical fringe position, it’s a far worse toll than even the Muslim Brotherhood could dream of enacting.
Some Other Shit
The three-member Texas Railroad Commission had an election Tuesday which I’m gonna argue proves my point that Pres. Donald Trump wasn’t really the driving factor; the Republican Party itself was.
The Texas Railroad Commission is a powerful and consequential agency, because as the name doesn’t imply, it regulates oil and gas but not railroads. Because Texas is the state of straight talk that says what it means and means what it railroad.
Anyhoo, one of those three seats was on the ballot Tuesday, and Republicans no longer control all three. Why did Democrat Jon Rosenthal win the open seat? It wasn’t because voters were never going to pretend that Trump was on the ballot for Texas Railroad Commission. (Our commander-in-choo-choo couldn’t even run his own airline.)
It was because even some staunch Republicans turned on GOP candidate Bo French like a railroad train taking a sharp U-turn. And why did Republican leaders and Texas voters turn on French?
Because of his racist, antisemitic, Islamophobic comments. That’s right, Newsfuckers, Texas voters voted woke.
It gets better. The longtime Texas incumbent who successfully straddled the line between MAGA and less-insane Republicans also lost.
Gov. Greg Abbott (R-TX) is out and Governor-elect Gina Hinojosa (D-TX) is in. This race was not about Trump but about decades of one-party rule that saw border communities torn apart — remember, Abbott went to war over the border with Pres. Joe Biden — and businesses gutted by loss of workers and customers alike.
As I mentioned on last night’s newsfuckathon, Hinojosa ran won on supporting public education and government benefits but curbing corporate welfare.
Christian nationalist Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick (R-TX) was also shown the door to church on Tuesday, as state Rep. Vikki Goodwin (D-TX) — in a race that wasn’t nationalized by the media, that lacked the glitz and glamor of the Texas Railroad Commission race — still notched a decisive win of 51.9% to 45.5%.
Fun fact: Goodwin has enough integrity and courage that in September, when a modest, obscure, original-reporting Substack asked her to comment on a controversial issue involving religion, she responded.
Some of you Newsfuckers may recall that Goodwin told me she opposes the right-wing Bible study that Patrick brought into the statehouse. “[W]hen I am Lt. Governor, I will not bring in religious leaders with extreme views who call for all people to follow one chosen religion,” she said, like a godless Communist Muslim Brotherhood Christian sister.
Some More Other Shit
Y’know how I’ve been baselessly asserting without evidence that if we scratched deep enough we would find that voters anxious about affordability and corruption were also concerned about, or using those issues as proxies for, the more profound, fundamental issue of the state of American democracy?
No? Well, I have.
Now, according to the Times and everyone else, “voters pushed back on high gas prices, an unpopular war in Iran and stubbornly high inflation.” Sure, cuz that’s what they were polled on. Mostly.
But this morning, Semafor shared some base for my baseless assertions. And, it turns out, all my base are belong to us. Or at least a third of us.
I haven’t seen much coverage of this in corporate media, other than the published graphic itself, but look at the exit polling on what issues motivated voters:
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Remember how Democratic Party geniuses were debating between issue #1 (the economy) and issue #I-don’t-even-see-it-here (corruption) for their closing message?
Even with no corporate media pushing the issue, with no Democrats pushing the issue, American voters still named the state of democracy as the second-most important issue motivating them. Thirty-two percent of the country, roughly a third, said that was most important to them.
This was and will be ignored by corporate media and corporate Democrats, but we won’t forget.
MEDIA WATCH Good for PBS for putting it in their headline: “AP Voter Poll: The economy and the state of democracy are voters’ top issues.”
One Quickie
Stocks were up as Wall Street bros gradually digested the election results and calculated that most of them aren’t going to jail for what they’re doing. Some shares that fell include Tesla and SpaceX, because the universe wasn’t done costing Elon Musk money. In pre-dawn trading, Tesla fell about 5% while SpaceX plummeted 6.9% to Earth. This was after Musk lost half a billion dollars losing in Tuesday’s elections, including more than $168 million spent failing to preserve the Republican Texas he just moved to. Oops.
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