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How many of you know what the Elf on the Shelf is?
If you are unaware, it’s this little doll that looks like an elf, kinda. The point is that after Thanksgiving it shows up to the house and keeps an eye on the kids for Santa Claus. Every single night parents have to move the elf and come up with new ideas to make it fun and seem like the elf is alive. The rules are that if anyone touches the elf, it loses magic.
I fucking hate the elf.
The point of it makes sense, though, and my kids absolutely love it. They find it entertaining and fun to see the ‘crazy’ things the elf gets up to while they are gone. Basically, some genius parent figured out how to blackmail our kids into being good during the month of December.
The entire system runs on a simple concept. Parents move the elf and the kids can never ever know about it. They have to remain completely in the dark about it and have no idea that any of this ever happened. It has to be a complete shock to them. The moment they see the way it really works, the magic is gone and suddenly it stops being special.
I go above and beyond to make sure I keep the magic and secret alive with the stupid elf. I’m about to do the opposite with the Democratic Party for all of you. I’m about to show you how the elf moves at night, and why, instead of it being two loving parents who want to keep the magic alive for you, it’s AIPAC and crypto trying to make sure you stay in the dark so you can’t complain.
Let’s start with the obvious part of all of this. There is a massive outcry from the Democratic Party who are demanding something new from the party. This is like the Bernie/Hillary incident of 2016. The only difference is that the voters have been traumatized and brutalized by the Trump administration and have learned that being silent and allowing shitty things to happen is no longer an option.
How many people out there really understand the inner workings of the way that these political parties figure out leadership? I ask because up until this past week, I was, for the most part, in the dark about it. That’s by design; you aren’t supposed to see how the sausage is made.
The Senate majority leaders are completely done by a secret ballot. Unlike the House, no vote is held on the floor. That means that no one has to admit that they voted for Schumer. That means that when Schumer gets his seat back, every other senator can claim that they didn’t vote for him, even if they did.
The speaker of the House is a caucus internal vote, then the majority has to vote publicly. It takes 218 votes to confirm the speaker. That means that if Jeffries does end up winning, we will be able to know exactly who betrayed the electorate who put them in office.
We all know this part; that isn’t anything special. That’s not making the sausage; that is the packaging that they are sold in. The part that most of us are supposed to be kept in the dark about is how we get to this point.
Officially, the speaker is selected by the caucus. At least that is how they tell everyone that it is selected. In truth, the next speaker and the next leadership team are anointed by the previous speaker. We saw this with Nancy Pelosi handing the job to Hakeem Jeffries in 2022.
Pelosi, Hoyer, and Clyburn endorsed Jeffries, Clark, and Aguilar as their successors. What that did wasn’t hand them the job; it just made sure that everyone in the party knew that they were not going to run against the picks of the leadership team. That means not a single one of them had a challenger for their position.
A reporter even asked Clark at the time whether Pelosi had “picked the three of you.” They said that Pelosi endorsed them, but endorsing people when they are running unopposed is the same thing as the previous speaker handpicking their replacement.
The former leadership team doesn’t just randomly pick people either. To understand how they pick people, you need to understand what happens when someone gets a seat in the House for the Democratic Party. It’s mind-blowing. The Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC) holds each member responsible for membership dues.
The Intercept was able to obtain the DCCC dues report that was never supposed to be leaked to the public. This is what the dues for each position were in 2020. The numbers were insane.
Rank-and-file member owed $150,000.
Regular member of a money committee owed $250,000.
Subcommittee chairs on money committees owed $300,000.
Chairs of other committees owed $300,000.
Vice chairs of money committees owed $400,000.
Chairs of the “money committees” owed $600,000.
Lower leadership owed $400,000 to $500,000.
Next leadership tier (Jeffries’s level then) owed $575,000.
Top leadership (No. 2 through No. 4) owed $700,000 to $900,000.
Speaker owed $1,000,000.
The leaked reports from 2026 run from a low six-figure range for rank-and-file members to $1.1 million for those serving in leadership and on top-tier committees, like Ways and Means or Appropriations. To be clear, money isn’t supposed to buy the seats. It isn’t supposed to be what decides who goes where.
That is why, when they looked for someone to pick for speaker, the fact that Hakeem Jeffries paid over $4.6 million in dues, more than 400% of his expected $1.1 million contribution, I’m sure, didn’t matter to anyone. The rest of the leadership also gave 100% more than their dues, which I’m sure has no impact on them being selected.
That is why Rep. Sean Casten is challenging Maxine Waters for the top Democratic spot on Financial Services. Before that, Waters had paid just 30% of her 2026 dues, or $200,000, while Casten had paid $380,000, exceeding his dues by about $50,000. I’m sure that hasn’t made a difference for leadership, right?
Especially because once Casten’s challenge surfaced, Waters paid her dues in full to the DCCC after a frantic fundraising sprint.
Since leadership never has anything to do with money being brought into the party, it is just a coincidence that AIPAC has endorsed the full Democratic leadership. I’m sure the $5,628,244 sent to the leadership team will have no impact on who stays in leadership. Just like I’m sure that the $1,294,727 sent to the Senate leadership has no impact at all on who runs the party.
Make no mistake, they know what they are doing. They know that the people are angry. They don’t care. Well, they do, just not about you. They care about the CEOs and AIPAC money and how they can spend it. They care that they get to play kingmaker in a country that was founded on deposing kings.
Incoming Rep. Don Leonard has come forward explaining how he was threatened that if he didn’t fall in line with leadership and pledge to support Jeffries, then they would make his next two years in Washington hell. They said that they would primary him and remove him.
I say fuck em.
These corrupt pieces of shit still haven’t figured it out. We watched the American people vote against money. We saw the American people stand up to corruption and corporate money spending in politics and tell the establishment to fuck all the way off. If they want to play this game with their threats, I say bring it. Winning against their money and influence is easy.
Fight in the streets. They want to backroom meeting you? Open the door to the public. They want to cast you into the dark? Bring your own ring light. Don Leonard has already shown the way to fight back, and these establishment pricks aren’t prepared for a real fight.
We voted a blue wave; it’s time they learn to put on some fucking boxing gloves.
Stay loud, stay informed, stay dangerous.
-Nicholas J Orcutt
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