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The ghost of George Wallace applauds you
This week, at Trump’s Madison Square Garden rally, comedian Tony Hinchcliffe got on stage and made a lot of “jokes,” calling Puerto Rico an island of trash, stating that Black people carve watermelons for Halloween, and that Latinos “love making babies…. There’s no pulling out. They don’t do that. They come inside, just like they did to our country.”
In response, Puerto Ricans such as Ricky Martin, Lin Manuel Miranda, and Rita Morena called out those jokes as racist and made clear their support for Kamala Harris.
Of course, Hinchcliffe had his supporters, like that barometer of everything shitty, Joe Rogan; Jon Stewart, for some reason; Ebeneezer Scrooge before Christmas Eve; the ghost of George Wallace; and Andrew Jackson’s evil spirit.
But I say enough is enough. And I don’t care if the “leftists” hate me for this, but I think the world has gone too far. Used to be that a man could go on stage and say a bunch of racist stuff about minorities or women or (this is intersectionality, losers, pay attention) both, and everyone would applaud and cheer.
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Women would throw their underwear on stage and be like, “Wow, your racisms are so hot.” Men would laugh and say, “Damn, that’s a funny guy.” He’d be hailed as a hero for making jokes about Travis Kelce violently killing Taylor Swift just like OJ (allegedly) did to Nicole Brown. Hahaha. Nothing funnier than violence against women. WHY AREN’T YOU LAUGHING?
Now? Now a man can't even go on stage for a rally for another man — a man who said he wanted the kind of generals Hitler had, who supports mass deportations, and whose supporters are trying to make it so legal US citizens cannot vote — without being called racist. Can you believe that? A man supports a man who has consistently and aggressively made it clear he is racist and now both guys are called racist?!
What happened to being fair, having an open mind, and evaluating men on their own individual racisms? Like the time in 2021 when Hinchcliffe lost his agent because he used a racial slur.
This is why white guys feel disenfranchised — Democrats, if you even care. It’s because we used to be able to say awful things all the time with no consequence. Now men can still say awful stuff, but there are consequences. For example, women won’t date us. People online say “Ew, that guy sucks.” And it’s like, wow, okay, CENSORSHIP.
In this case, censorship is me having to hear that you hate a man’s jokes.
Has anyone experienced anything worse than a person not laughing at his jokes? It’s worse than a mass deportation, right?
*crickets*
See, in 1939 that would have gotten a man laid. In 2024, Aubrey Plaza tells us her abuela would say “go fuck yourself.”
What happened to free speech? By which I mean the rights of men to make whatever joke they want and you are morally obligated to laugh — not your right to boo my joke. Sorry, were you tell me that I am just regurgitating tired racist tropes and calling them “jokes”? Clearly you don’t understand the finer points of comedy. COMEDY is when men say stupid shit and then when you say, “Hey, that’s stupid,” men say, “It’s a joke, dummy,” and skip off into the sunset holding hands with Aubrey Plaza.
Got it?
The thing about jokes is they have to be funny. And to be funny, they have to be a little bit true, and a little bit revelatory, and probably a bit silly, too. When a joke reveals more about the anger and the prejudices of the comedian than it does about the world, that’s not actually a joke; it’s just a bigoted tirade.
Runner up: Men who are making comments about how women should not be able to vote
This week, a former Trump aide and leader of Project 2025 went on TikTok to make a video about how “mail-only voting” should really be “male-only voting.” Also, Fox News host Jesse Watters said if his wife voted differently from him, it would be tantamount to sexual betrayal. “That's the same thing as having an affair... that violates the sanctity of our marriage... that would be D-Day,” Watters said.
This is big talk coming from a guy who got divorced because he cheated on his then-wife.
It’s been 104 years since the 19th Amendment passed and men are still mad about it. Like it’s been over a century that women have had the right to vote and you want to go online in 2024 and be furious? Get over it. Women are autonomous human beings and not extensions of your will or caretakers for your offspring.
Die mad about women’s suffrage.
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I’ve been writing the dingus of the week for four years. And many of the dingii I’ve roasted in the past, much like a bad burrito, have come back as something more liquidy and smelly than we’ve ever imagined. Since I have new subscribers, I’d like to note that in 2022, Elon Musk was the dingus of the year. And last year, I called Mike Johnson “about as far right as you can go without doing the full Francisco Franco.” Last month, I roasted undecided voters.
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